legally esoteric.

turning 18 was awesome for me. :) i had chocolate cake, beer, candles, clubbing, turkmenistan, shisha, tequila, vermouth, vodka, good music and even more amazing friends. :) it would've been even more perfect if i could bring friends from back home over. :) boyfriend did that whole 18 candles thing for me. completely took me by surprise. i went over to his room right before it turned 12 and he told me he was catching a rat. i remember telling G i was so puzzled as to why he kept getting rats in his room which is pretty clean if you ask me.

many other events took place that day. biochemistry test, psychology class, cake at some restaurant that brews their own beer, walking along walking street(excusethepun), spontaneously going clubbing at night, turkmenistan, going for class the next day with only 2 hours of sleep, having lunch, Rubella vaccination, crashing for about 3 hours only and partying the night away again. you could say my 18th birthday was all about booze and friends. which amde it so awesome. would really love to get into the details but i'm too lazy. :) heh. all i can say is being 17 and 18 is a world of difference. even just one day, it still feels different. i feel like i should be more responsible now. sort of anyway. and that i'm free to do whatever whenever whomever and however. ;) but yea that's just me. but so far, being 18 has been incredibly awesome. :D

of milestones and all that jazz

i'm reaching a milestone in a few days. but why am i not irrationally excited the way i normally do over things like birthdays and valentine's day? i have a feeling it's going to be a quiet birthday with a few friends, tequila and UV lights. :) but i feel content. i really do. i don't feel the need to have a huge-ass birthday party or dinner. i just want to spend the day with people i care about. now if only i could get some people from back home over here for the day, my day would be perfect. :) talentime's soundtrack is on replay on my itunes. i suddenly really want to play an awesome instrument like the er hu or something. oh oh oh, i might be heading over to turkey for winter holidays. :) so excited! haha. gotta jet. i have a major test on thursday which is a bummer but i just really want to turn 18 quietly in my little corner with everyone i love. :)

if you knew how much this means to me

this is the street in front of my hostel on the 31st of October. :) it's the 4th of November and it has stopped snowing. which is good and bad at the same time. it sucks because the snow's starting to melt and it's becoming muddy and it's awesome because at least now i don't have to have snowcap-hair when i go to class. :) haha. apparently it's going to start snowing again tomorrow. but then again, russian winter's really unpredictable. besides that, today was a public holiday! :) it's the day the USSR officially became Russia or something like that. apparently it's a new holiday. no complaints here. the more holidays, the better. :D

the melting snow is bringing my christmas spirit away with it. :( there's just something about snow and christmas. given, for the past 17 years, christmas has been without snow but this year, i can finally sing winter wonderland and REALLY feel the whole white christmas crap. heh. my exams are coming. my birthday is next week. i really want to fly to barcelona one summer. i might go to turkey this winter. :) sigh. plans plans plans. so many things to do, so little time. is it just me or has this year flown by so fast? pfft.

walking in a winter wonderland

I got to wear a sari on saturday! :) how awesome is that? it totally made me feel connected to my indian side. saris are so feminine and everyone just looks great in one. :D so it was Diwali open house last saturday and it was such good fun. i ended up being a narrator for the annual play and there was this awesome dance by the seniors at the end. then after everyone had left, we had a mini disco just a few of us and trust me, you haven't danced till you've danced in a sari. it's one of the hardest things ever to manouver in the thing let alone dance in one. but to be honest, wearing a sari made me feel so proud to be half indian and it just oozes femininity which is always a good thing. so yay! :D

my friends are coming over in a few. we're having a cook-out. well sort of. it's kind of a pot-luck party. it was supposed to be a mini celebration. SS thought of it. she wanted to celebrate my last "children's day" cum halloween. but halloween's a pretty touchy subject. religion wise so we're not going there. so it's just going to be a fab night of food, drinks, music and games. :) i honestly can't wait. btw did i tell you? it's the 30th of Oct and it's been snowing the WHOLE day. seriously. =.= but this is the russia i love. snow looks so awesome. even the rubbish bin looks pretty. sigh. haha. i'll snap a picture in the morning and you'll see just how covered everything is. :D shit. my eggs are boiling in the kitchen. gotta run. ciao. :D
p.s: i don't care what everyone else says. Christmas is COMING!!! :D:D:D:)

my world is this big

isn't this just the cutest? :) i've been reading a lot about how iloveyou has the same amount of letters as bullshit. seriously people? i know you can count but it also has the same number of letters as imissyou, ineedyou, iwantyou, fabulous and a lot of other words. words i can't think of right now and i honestly can't be bothered with counting the number of letters all of them have. i just think that sometimes all people think about is the pain in losing someone they love and putting all the good memories in a little box somewhere. because honestly love is awesome. :) yea, i have a boyfriend now and i'm really happy but i have been down and emotional about losing love and hanging on to people not worth hanging on too. FairSlut once told me, way back last year i think, that i should get my heart trampled on then i wouldn't think people were overexaggerating the dark moments of love. maybe i will one day. maybe when that day comes i'll find refuge and comfort in all these pictures and quotes about how love is painful. but it's the best thing around. i don't think anyone ever really stops believing in love. i think even if they do end up jaded and miserable, they're always on the look out for that BIG love. because once you take away the magic of Love and even God, what else is left? this is really random and i'm really tired. but i just think that even if one day i end up on my bed for 3 days straight, recovering from a broken heart, poofy eyed and all, i will still believe in love because without love, whether platonic, from family or romantic, life is pretty boring and you know i'm right. :)

life isn't a fairytale

I haven't been online in nearly 72 hours! *gasp* internet dude ran out of internet credit. bloody hell. it was sheer torture. seriously. :( on another note, Happy Diwali. :) batchmates had an "open house" for all of us. okay. my eyes are closing and i still need to study for tomorrow's class. :( byebye.

that local boy in the photograph

having a blog makes me feel a tad naked. like i have a hole ripped right down the side of my dress and you can see bits and pieces on what's on the inside. i might forget the rip is there after a while but somehow after 3 minutes of boisterous laughter or chatter, i remember it again. maybe not that exaggerating. more like a hole near my butt and everyonce in a while, you get a glimpse of my underwear. that's what blogging feels like to me. Sylvia Plath is right on. that's why i don't really keep a diary anymore. coupled with the fact that i have no time to write all my feelings down and the fact that i prefer telling someone all my dark twisty thoughts, i find that all my past diary entries never really capture the essence of the moment. okay maybe they do and the best part is that when i reread all that jizz, i remember certain things i'd already forgotten about that particular day/night. that's the amazing part about diaries that a blog will hardly ever be. i guess it's coz i'm afraid of being judged at this self i potray/reveal in this blog. it's just weird. it's probably just me but PianoBoy seems to agree. ;) oh yes yes AND a thought crossed my mind as we were IM-ing. i just suddenly thought about making my blog private but then what's the point of having a blog. besides, i really don't want to know who reads this blog or i'd feel really awkward around them. i mean i know ONE person who does (PianoBoy!!) but i really don't want to know who else does. anonymity is best. :)

anyway, tomorrow's Deepavali. this year will be the second time i've ever "celebrated" it. guess it's not a secret that i'm not at all in touch with my Indian side besides the ginger pickle-bananaleafrice-loving part of me. :) i guess that's what happens when you have a single mum who's chinese. heh. so anyway, my friends are throwing this open house tomorrow. :D open house = awesome food and a chance to bring some home. if you're lucky. ;) AND i'm wearing a SARI this year. HOW AWESOME IS THAT? promise i'll put a picture up. heh. but then again, the "big" thing is only next saturday. so picture up next week then. so i wanna wish all my Hindu friends, HAPPY DEEPAVALI and have an awesome one. i heard we're getting fireworks for tomorrow. *jumps around* ZOMG. fireworks!! haha. i'mma go now. byebye

p.s: maybe i should come up with a better way to say bye. *thinks hard*